Wednesday, October 17, 2012

October CT Scan Results

Hello Everyone!  It's with a HAPPY heart that I am writing this entry.  Chris had a CT scan yesterday and a doctor's appointment today.  We are happy to say that the tumors have not grown in the last seven weeks!  Dr. Pili was very pleased with these results.  Apparently, this is rarely the case.  For now, we will continue to wait and see what the tumors do over the next two months.  Dr. Pili doesn't want to put Chris back on a toxic treatment until it is absolutely necessary.  After Christmas, we will have another scan.  This will help us decide what action to take next.  We fully believe our change in eating habits, exercise, and our strong belief in faith are attributing to this wonderful change.  Thank you for all your loving support and prayers.  God is willing to listen to ALL our hearts!  We feel very blessed today.

I hope everyone is enjoying the autumn season.  Chris and I have enjoyed our first "non-volleyball" Fall.  It's been wonderful having him home and we've taken advantage of it.  We've been pumpkin and apple picking, something we've never been able to do because volleyball took up all Chris's time.

Our first anniversary is next month and we plan on celebrating to the fullest!  A lot has happened this year, but it certainly has put life into perspective.  Enjoy each day as it comes.  Be kind to those around you.  And try to look at the good in all situations.  God has a plan for all of us.  I love my husband more today than I did a year ago.  And as they say, the first year is the hardest.  I think Chris and I have proven that our love can withstand anything!

We love you all!  Continue to pray that Chris's body is fighting the disease and that God is willing to help us!  We are so thankful that He has put all of you in our life.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, it is because of you that Chris and I are getting through this!!

Much love, Teresa xo

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Results

As you know, we had our doctor appointment at Roswell today.  It was a confusing appointment because the results of the CT scan varied.  The small tumors in Chris' lungs shrunk. However, the lymph node on his wind pipe has continued to grow.  Therefore, Dr. Pili would like to hold treatment for two months to monitor the lymph node.  We will hope and pray that Chris' immune system will continue to fight the tumors and possibly get them to shrink or stop growing.  While this isn't the news we hoped for, we are happy that some of the tumors did shrink.  Please continue to pray for healthy progress because we will be back at Roswell in October for another CT scan.  In the meantime, we are going to continue living with a positive attitude and enjoy life!  Thank you so much for all your continued love and support.  It means the world to the both of us.  Love, Teresa

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Update

Hi everyone! I hope this entry finds you well. I wanted to write a short post to let everyone know what we have been up to and to let you know some date changes in Chris' treatment schedule. We've had a very enjoyable, relaxing second half of our summer. We've been bike riding, movie going, antiquing, and traveling. Chris and I just returned from a weekend getaway in Michigan. My college roommates and I have begun a yearly reunion. We packed up the husbands and got together to reminisce. drink, and eat lots of delicious food. Tomorrow we are going to Niagara-on-the-Lake in Canada for a romantic overnight, just the two of us. Over the last month, we have received an abundance of love from everyone. We are so thankful for your thoughts, prayers, and generous gifts. Next week we will find out if the medication has done what we prayed it would do. Chris has his CT scan on Tuesday, August 28th. Instead of making us wait a week, we will return the next day for the results. I appreciate this. I don't think my nerves could handle a whole week. Please think of us Tuesday and Wednesday. Pray that the tumors have shrunk, so we can continue on with treatment! All of your positive thoughts and prayers have brought us tremendous comfort during this anxious time. We love you! Teresa xo

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Tentative Treatment Schedule

I thought I would post some important dates in Chris' treatment schedule. These are dates that we could use tons of positive thoughts and prayers. We will not know if the drugs did their job until September. If the they did, we will repeat our treatment. Then we would have another eight weeks off, followed by a CT scan, and hopefully a third and final round of treatment. I know Chris' treatment is confusing, so hopefully this layout makes it a bit easier to understand. xo, Teresa August 27: CT scan (we pray that this will show that the cancer has shrunk, or better yet, disappeared.) September 4: Appointment with Dr. Pili to find out the results of the scan. September 17-21: 5 day stay in the hospital, receiving IL2 treatment. September 22-30: Home for nine days recovering. October 1-5: 5 day stay in the hospital, receiving IL2 treatment.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Treatment Week 2, Day 5

We did it! Our treatment for the summer is complete! Chris was able to get his eighth and final dose at 2 o'clock this afternoon. He is still recovering. While I type, he is lying next to me, his feet swollen and elevated, his skin "sunburned", and his body fighting the end of a high fever. It's been a very difficult finish. The side effects at the end were horrendous, but it's over. He has been an unbelievable fighter. I knew he would be, he has a lot worth fighting for. Words cannot express how much I love this man. I'm so proud of the husband he is. We believe in our love, we have hope for our future, and we have faith in the Lord. Those three things will get us through the next six months. Yes, I typed six months. We may have won this battle, but we haven't finished the war. We get a reprieve for eight weeks. Then we will come to the hospital for a CT scan. We will believe, hope, and pray that the cancer has shrunk (or better yet, disappeared). If it does, we will have another round of treatment. To better explain this, I will post a tentative treatment schedule in the morning. As Dr. Pili said when he came to visit Chris today, it is time to go home, enjoy summer, and celebrate life! Love to all of you for coming on this journey with us. We are beyond blessed that God has put you in our life. Your thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragment have been a tremendous support. There is strength in numbers. It is with your love that we will overcome this hurdle in our first year of marriage. xo, Teresa

Treatment Week 2, Day 4

Excuse my late post, but Chris received a 10 o'clock treatment and we are both drained. Yesterday was a tough day. With every treatment the side effects become more difficult to recover from. Chris got an early morning dose that took him the entire day to finally feel better. He was strong enough for the night dose. We were up until about four this morning dealing with the effects. We got through it and we are one day away from our summer vacation! Chris has been able to get seven doses this week, the same amount he received last time. That doesn't often happen! Will we be able to get one more today? We will wait and see what his body tells us. Thank you for the continued positive thoughts and prayers! We can feel them giving us the strength to get through the finish line! xo, Teresa

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Treatment Week 2, Day 3

I cannot begin to tell you how happy we are that this day is over. More than half the week is complete! Once again, our day was redundant. IL2 dose, rigors, Demerol, fever, cold compresses, sleep. Repeat. The days are blending into one continuous cycle. A cycle that we can't wait to end. Please don't think I am complaining! Redundant is okay. It's fantastic, really. Redundant means everything is working. Chris is doing great. He takes each dose like a champion. He was able to get two doses in today, giving us a total of five, thus far. He is walking in between doses and drinking tons of water. He is experiencing some swelling in his hands and feet. I've been rubbing them with a special lotion that should help his sensitive skin. He tells me he owes me many a foot massage after this is over, and I plan on holding him to it! His wedding band is now around my neck, it was too tight on his finger. And of course, we purchased a metal that cannot be resized, or cut off easily. Therefore, I will wear it on a necklace close to my heart until he can put it back on. Chris is resting comfortably, so I'm going to snuggle up in my chair and see if I can catch the fireworks from the All Star game at Bison stadium. We are beyond thrilled that tomorrow is Thursday. We are getting there! Love to all! xo, Teresa

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Treatment Week 2, Day 2

My post will be short and sweet tonight. Today seems like the day that never wants to end. Nothing eventful happened (which is fine by both of us), but the seconds felt like minutes, and the minutes felt like hours, and the hours felt like days. We are both starting to succumb to exhaustion. Last night I wrote that we would take it one dose at a time. We were hopeful Chris would get the ten o'clock treatment. Now, I need to eat my words. I shouldn't have predicted the next dose! He didn't receive it. He spiked a fever, which we've all learned means, no treatment! Instead, he was able to get two doses of IL2 today! With each dose the side effects are the same, but the recovery time is becoming longer and longer. Mentally, Chris is amazing. Physically, his body is fighting very hard. There will not be an evening treatment. Dr. Pili was satisfied with Chris's performance today. We will see what the morning brings. We continue to keep the faith. We know that we can handle this...one dose at a time! Sweet dreams. xo, Teresa

Monday, July 9, 2012

Treatment Week 2, Day 1

Deja Vu. As we walked into the 5 West corridor, it didn't feel like we'd been gone nine days. It felt as though we never left. We were greeted by the smiling faces and happy welcome of the amazing nursing staff. I really cannot express what wonderful people work here. Our nurse, Jim, claimed us today and so did our night nurse Theresa. Not that I should pick favorites, but they are fantastic. The moment I found out they were taking care of us, a wave of relief washed over me. The day got off slow and steady, but I look at that as a good sign. It's what wins the race in the end, right? On a side note, I cannot forget to mention the highlight of our day. Chris' platelet count skyrocketed while we were home! We are hoping this will help him get in a few extra doses, however, we've learned to take it one dose at a time. Chris' dad, my parents, Granny, Poppa and DJ were here today. Of course, DJ helped keep us entertained. He and Chris have decided to grow "treatment beards." While Chris' beard is relatively filled in, DJ's is more of a patchwork quilt. I apologize for those that see him out in public and do not know that his disheveled appearance is not intentional, but in support of his brother-in-law. Unfortunately, the first dose did not arrive on time. We anxiously waited until Jim showed up with the purple gloves at 3 o'clock. When administering toxic medications, the nurses where purple gloves. We've yet to learn why, but I'm guessing they have some kind of extra protective coating. Not the most settling thought when you know this drug will be pumped through your veins. My déjà vu moment came as Chris began to get the daunting side effects of his first IL2 dose. He had the rigors, but only for a short time. Jim adminstered the Demerol immediately and they subsided in ten minutes. Now, four hours later, Chris is napping with a slight fever and a round of nausea. We are very hopeful he will receive his next treatment at 10 o'clock. As the sun sets I'm visualizing a calendar, and I'm crossing off Day One. Please continue to think and pray for us as you watch the sun set from your porches and decks. Another day of your summer is ending, but it is one day closer to ours beginning. xo, Teresa

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Hiatus

I apologize.  I wrote in my last post that I would continue to write while we were home recuperating.  Clearly, that has not been the case.  Chris and I were home Saturday by noon.  Even though we were both beyond exhausted, we were beyond elated to finally be home.  As we were waiting for the discharge papers, I could not believe the butterflies I was feeling to get out of that hospital and get home with my husband.  I felt like our first week of summer could actually begin.  I thought I'd blog when I got home, let everyone know we were home safe and sound.  But my emotions surprised me, as most women's do.  I had no desire to blog, document or discuss.  Do you know the very first thing I did when we got home?  I unpacked.  I unpacked everything.  As quickly as I tried to make the hospital room home-like for Chris, I just as quickly tried erasing it. I tried to turn my home back into the warm, loving place we had worked so hard to make it. I wanted to forget about hospitals, and blood pressures, and Tylenol, and schedules, and cancer for the next nine days.  I wanted to be the newlyweds we were supposed to be this summer. I wanted to use my china, my wine glasses, my new water pitcher.  All of the wedding gifts you use during your first few years, then decades later you realize it's just easier to use paper.  I wanted to try new recipes that take ridiculous amounts of preparation only to be consumed, and possibly disliked, in twenty minutes.  I wanted to go shopping for the old school Schwinn bikes I'd been conning Chris into buying, so we could pedal around the neighborhood on a lazy summer morning.  I wanted to work in our flower gardens. I wanted to enjoy an early morning cup of coffee on our deck while the birds chirped and Sophie sunbathed. And we did. We did all of it.  Thank you so much for thinking about us.  Though we've remained quiet this week, your kindness has not gone unnoticed.  We have been blessed with meals, cards, gift certificates. It's overwhelming at times.  I can only hope someday we can pay it all forward.  I promise, we are going to try.  I will begin updating daily. As you know, tomorrow begins another week at Roswell. Our final hospital stay for the summer. We can do it.  I know we can.  We have all of you to help get us there.  I'm starting to see a small light at the end of the tunnel.  xo, Teresa

Friday, June 29, 2012

Treatment Day 5

HIP, HIP, HOORAY! Chris did it! He has successfully completed Week One of treatment. He received his final dose of IL2 this morning at 6 am. Believe it or not, we actually got up at 2:30 this morning to walk the halls before his blood draw at 3. We wanted to make sure his platelet count would make one more dose. Sure enough, it did! The final dose knocked Chris down hard. It took him most of the day to recover. From what we understand, it will take the weekend and part of next week to really get him back to full strength. We've made friends with some of the other patients on the floor. Their stories are encouraging. Our next door neighbor Steve is on his second round of treatment. After his first CT scan, his tumors shrunk 64%! This evening Chris and I went out to walk the hall and bumped into Steve and his wife Sue. Chris and Steve walked and discussed their aches and pains. They've had very similar side effects. I walked with Sue and shared our comparative stories as caretakers. There is no one better to understand what you are going through than someone else going through it. I have to take a moment to thank our biggest support group of all. My mom, dad, Chris' dad, and stepmother for everything they did this week and will do in the weeks to follow. Without them, I wouldn't have had coffee, or food, or someone to be with Chris while I went to the bathroom. We are so very lucky to have such wonderful, supportive parents. I'm going to end this now because Chris and I are celebrating our last night here with a movie and the fireworks from the Bison game! Please keep checking the blog. I plan on writing next week while we are home. And then of course, I will continue to update our progress during our hospital stay the week of July 9th. Thank you for all your comments! I read them every day. Chris reads them every evening. Your love, support and words of encouragement are helping carry us through! xo, Teresa

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Treatment Day 4

We've almost made it through our first week of treatment! Thank you for all your love, support, and prayers. Chris was able to get his platelets high enough for a morning dose of IL2! The recovery was rough. The rigors weren't as difficult as they've been in the past, but the fever and exhaustion took this round. The side effects lasted most of the day. Around dinner time, Chris began to come around. I have to say, he is a great source of entertainment when on pain medication. He doesn't even realize he is providing a bit of comic relief during this stressful time. I've been writing down the funny things he says because I know he won't remember. I want him to know that he made me laugh. His Irish skin now has a sunburned look. And like a real sunburn, it will begin to itch and peel when we get home. Since the dose, his platelets have depleted. We've been walking the halls to try and get them to reappear. His fantastic doctor, Dr. Pili, believes his platelets are hiding out in his spleen. Walking is a way to possibly get them to stop playing hide-and-seek. Those that know my dad know he is a father first and a coach second. Therefore, Coach Giancola has come out of retirement and has gotten his son-in-law walking laps around the unit. He yells, he cheers, he is very motivating. Chris walked for 20 minutes before his most recent blood draw and was able to get his platelets up 13,000 units! (I don't know if units is the correct medical term, but I thought it sounded appropriate). From what I understand, when Chris was younger, he worked very hard to be a fantastic athlete. He always went the extra mile to perform at his best. Tonight, he will be giving it that extra mile to prepare his body for one final dose! He is determined to kick this cancer out of our life. Keep thinking and praying for us as you go to bed. Pray for platelets, platelets, platelets. Pray that Chris' body continues to be strong. And then think of us as you wake up, praying that we are getting our last grueling treatment for the week. Then we can go home and appreciate all that we've been given. We couldn't do this without you! xo, Teresa

Fate

I can remember the first time I began to think about fate. I was a senior in high school, getting ready to head off to college. I had chosen to go the University of Michigan. A very large (and expensive) college, where I would know no one. I was nervous and excited about the entire process. As I packed my bags to go, I kept thinking about other girls in the country doing the exact same thing at the exact same moment. I also remember thinking, that these girl would end up becoming my friends for life. It was an overwhelming thought, but one that became very true. My nearest and dearest friends are four beautiful women I met my freshmen year at U of M. We came from all over the country, and we are spread all over the country again, but our friendship will last forever. Take a look back at your life and see the ways the stars aligned to bring you where you are today. It's a pretty cool concept if you ask me. Even though I used the phrase, I really don't think it has to do with star alignment. I strongly feel that God has placed situations in front of us that provide an opportunity to make decisions. Those decisions lead us to excatly where we are supposed to be at any given moment. Some may say its luck, others may say its pure coincidence, but when I look back at how I got to where I am today, I can only believe in fate. I wrote how when I left Chicago I was positive it was the wrong decision. We all know it was not. It happened for a reason. Most know Chris and I met at our annual Union Scholarship party, but I don't think many know the course of actions that lead to that meeting. Chris was diagnosed with kidney cancer the year before I met him. I had heard his name at work on numerous occasions due to the fact that my co-worker Stan, was a very good friend of his. I knew that Chris had gone through a health scare and although my heart went out for this man I never met, I never really thought much about it. The following year, Chris celebrated his one-year anniversary of being cancer free. Our school district is a large sponsor for Relay for Life and our local paper did an interview with Chris on his ordeal. I was a new homeowner and thought it would be very mature to subscribe to the local paper, even though I never took the time to read it. I vividly remember that warm spring afternoon, standing at my kitchen table and for some reason, I opened the paper. There staring me in the face was this picture of a cute guy. I decided his picture was cute enough that I should sit down and take the time to read his article. As I read it, I began to get this feeling that I needed to meet him. Many of you know, I had my own medical struggles as a child and I really felt like I could relate to some of the things Chris was saying in this article. But as I thought this, I also thought how in the world would I ever meet him? I put the idea into the back of my brain and continued on with my day. It was only a few days later that I found myself sharing a drink with a friend at a local establishment. I brought up the article and to my surprise, this very insightful friend thought we would be perfect for each other. Unbeknownst to me, they had gone to high school together. He knew that we had many common interests and would make a fantastic match. The only problem, he didn't know Chris well enough to get the two of us to meet. Once again, I put the thought to the back of my mind. If you know our love story, you know that I did go to work and quietly fish for information. No one knew much. I refused to ask his friend Stan. Quite honestly, I had no desire to be "set up." I'd done that a few times before with absolutely no success. Once again, I put the thought to the back of my mind. When I went to the union party, as I did every year, I had no intention of even running into him. It didn't even cross my mind that he'd be there. I was just excited to get out for an evening with my friends and have a few drinks. But as you know, we did meet that fateful day. Then unexpectantly at a bar, two days later. A bar I went to often, but Chris never did. I never saw Chris out in Lockport in the three years I had lived there. Yet, I saw him twice in three days! Coincidence or fate??? You know which one I think! As you all know the rest is history. But what about where we are today? Sometimes I think God did this to remind us of how strong we are. Like I've said before, I'd fallen into a hypochondriac state. I think someone above is reminding me of what's important and that I do have the power and strength to overcome anything. Chris and I were both strong, independent individuals before we met, but he waited until we were one dynamic unit to put such a difficult task in front of us. God knew what He was doing when He "aligned the stars" to make our paths cross. I also think it was fate that has brought all of you into our lives. We wouldn't be able to get through this without the loving support of our friends and family. So today, think about the fate that has brought you to where you are. The good, the bad, the ugly. The happy and the sad. The moments that have happened in life that have made you who you are. I know I'm amazed at the person I continue to become because of the moments that are placed in front of me. xo, Teresa

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Treatment Day 3: Part 2

We just found out that Chris' platelet count is still too low for the next dose. We'd really appreciate prayers and positive thoughts that his platelet count increases by morning! We are here to fight and we don't want to go home without truly giving it our all! xo, Teresa

Treatment Day 3

It's been a roller coaster of a day, but that seems to be our life pattern. Chris has been working very hard over the last 24 hours. Beating cancer is a full-time job. Someone should really compensate him for his hard work. If there were an evaluation system, I'd have to rank him as a highly-effective patient. That was a joke for all the teachers reading this blog. I apologize to our non-teacher friends if you didn't get it. Chris received his ten o'clock dose last night. I was quite nervous because this was our first evening dose. After the horrible rigors that occurred earlier in the day, I was afraid to be his only support. I have to commend the nursing staff. They truly are amazing. Without them, this treatment would not be possible. We warned our evening nurse Theresa (ironic, right?) of the difficult time we had with the previous dose. She decided that she would have the Demerol on hand, so she could administer it the minute Chris began to shake. It gave me a bit of comfort to know she was ready. Chris took the dose like a champ and even fell asleep after it was administered. I sat frozen, watching him. And for one hot second we both thought, maybe he won't get them this time. Of course, we were wrong. We are discovering that Chris is quite symptomatic to the IL2. I'm praying that this means it is working, but of course there is no way to tell. We will have to wait 6-8 weeks for the ever so nervewrecking CT scan to tell us our fate. Once again, I digress. Chris got up to use the bathroom and the first shake appeared. We immediately called Theresa and she was in our room instantly. She had the Demerol adminstered in record time. Denise, his aide, came armed with a warm blanket. It seemed to help with the chills. Chris did shake, but it lasted only 15 minutes and then fell asleep soundly. The other side effect that continues to reoccur is a fever. And in my professional opinion, it isn't a typical fever. He truly radiates heat from the inside out. I cover him with cold compresses, actually my dad has gotten quite good at this too. We have to constantly change them because the minute they touch his skin they become warm. Ladies, you can relate to this. When I remove the wash cloth it reminds me of the hot compresses they put on your feet when you receive a pedicure. My hands feel like icicles during the process, but no pain no gain! After the side effects subsided, Chris and I got a decent night sleep. We woke up to the joy of another IL2 treatment. The side effects were the same, but this time the recovery was long. Chris began retaining water and his skin remained warm for hours. Two foot massages later, his feet were still swollen. He slept a lot. I honestly didn't think he'd recover for the next treatment. And like most women, I was right. His platelets dropped too low to receive the 2 o'clock dose. Not that I wanted him to miss the dose, but it did give him time to recover. It also gave me time to go home grab a nap, a shower, and a Tim Hortn's sandwich. While I was gone, Chris was left with the men in the family. DJ, my dad, Chris' dad, and let's not forget his nurse Jim. They hung out, watched the Patriot, walked a few laps, napped and drank plenty of water. His spirits are back up and we are hoping his platelets are too. Blood was just drawn and once again, we wait. We are wishing and hoping and praying that his body is ready for another dose! As his doctor said, you're here to get IL2, and that's what we are going to do. Next week, you rest. Prayers tonight that we are up having the rigors with a side of Demerol. We need them to shake the cancer to Timbuktu!!! xo, Teresa

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Treatment Day 2

Tuesday is coming to an end. It wasn't too long ago that I walked into school saying, "Happy Hump Day! We've made it halfway through the week!" Tomorrow that saying is going to have a whole new meaning. It's been another long day. There is a lot more sitting than doing. Last night, I ended my blog awaiting the dreadful 10 o'clock treatment. As I'm learning through this process, life is unexpected. It doesn't always happen as you've planned. Chris got a slight fever. To our chagrin, we found out he'd have to skip the dose. Chris and I have a strong faith in God, and as most know, so does our Italian family. It was time for me to take out my Rosary, wrap it around my wrist and set to praying. On a side note, the wrist wrapping comes from my lovely, very religious, Italian grandmother. She prays the Rosary daily at 3:00, but I digress. I also set to making sure Chris drank as much water as possible. I was determined to get the fever to break. And break it did! While we weren't up all night sick from toxic drugs, we were up every hour on the hour using the bathroom! We were back on track. Our day began at sunrise with a dose of IL2. The side effects were a little more severe, as we knew they would be. The rigors have appeared to be a consistent nightmare. Words will not be able to describe these awful, uncontrollable shakes. However, with the morning dose, Demerol put them and Chris to bed quite quickly. To sum it up, the morning dose was pretty uneventful. Some shakes, some sweats, a nap, and we were good to go. The time ticked slowly waiting for the next dose, which we knew we'd probably get. All vitals pointed to Go. And came it did. The tremors began about 45 minutes after the drug emptied into Chris' chest. They began small, but progressed to a point that was unimaginable. Our fabulous nurse Jim, administered Demerol the moment Chris mentioned he was beginning to tremble. Unfortunately, it took a good 30 minutes for the Demerol to actually work. That half an hour was the longest of my life. The most amazing part of the grueling ordeal was the focus and fight I saw in my husband. He was determined not to allow the muscle spasms to take control of him. I was proud of the man I married six months ago, but I'm bursting with pride today. Tuesday will continue here on Five West as the day turns into night. We will wait to see if the doctor will give Chris his 10 o'clock dose. Please say a prayer for us as you climb into bed. Pray that we will continue to have the strength to get through this week. Pray that in the end, this will all have been worth it. xo, Teresa

The "Expected" First Year

I've heard so many people say, "the first year of marriage is the hardest." There are finances to discuss, chores to divide, drawers to share. It's supposed to be a year of discovering who the other person is and figuring out how to mold your personalities into one family unit. But after being married a few months, I said to my handsome new husband, "I don't know what everyone was talking about. Being married to you has been easy." Chris is the ying to my yang. I'm a neurotic hypochondriac and he is the calm voice of reason. He looks at the glass as half full while I tend to look at it as half empty. Throughout our relationship, I constantly waited for the other shoe to drop. Life was perfect and I kept thinking, it cannot continue this way. No one can have everything. I was head over heels in love, I had a terrific job, a beautiful home, and a couple of adorable dogs (though some may beg to differ). How could things continue in this wonderful way? No one ever gets it all! Looking back now, I'm upset with myself for worrying so much. Worrying didn't change anything, it only made me waste precious moments that I should have enjoyed more than I did. I truly believe in the saying, "everything happens for a reason." Usually that reason doesn't make sense until much later, after the fact, when you have enough clarity to look back on a period of time and say, "ahhh that's why things had to happen that way." To give a quick example, when I left Chicago and moved to Lockport, I thought I made the wrong decision. I had every intention of moving back after a few months. Obviously, I didn't. Looking back now, moving to Lockport happened for a reason. The reason: Chris! It's from that experience that I know years from now we will say, "oh thats why we had to fight that horrible battle during our first year of marriage." With life experiences come life lessons. Through this ordeal, I'm learning to appreciate the little things and I'm trying not to sweat the small stuff. Life is too short to waste your first year (or any year) of marriage fighting over the finances, or which way to fold the laundry. Try to find happiness in the little things. I'm happy to be spending time with my husband, in a hospital room, while he kicks this cancer to Timbuktu! I'd follow him anywhere. The rest of life will fall into place when the time is right. As long as we have each other, we can do anything! xo, Teresa

Monday, June 25, 2012

Treatment Day 1

We are all checked in and calling Roswell Park our home for the next 5 days. I don't really know how I will distinguish between the days. Chris will receive treatment every 8 hours, so in reality, the days lump into one very long week. I will consider this Day 1 because to all of you at home, the day is coming to an end. Dinner is ending, dishes are being washed, baths are being drawn, the first day of summer is officially over. Our day has been slow going. We arrived at Roswell bright and early this morning. Chris registered, had an EKG, and then was sent to radiology to have a central line inserted in his chest. He returned to his room, which we tried to make as home-like as possible. We then waited for the dreaded first dose of medication to arrive. At precisely 2pm the toxic bag of fluid entered our room. It took 15 minutes to administer and during that time Chris felt great. He found a new app for the iPad, some golf game that he, my brother, and my dad have quickly become addicted to. About an hour and a half after the drug was given, the side effects slowly began. First, he had some chills from the inside out. Very slight and they only lasted about 20 minutes. He then became quite flushed. And now 5 hours later, he feels like he has the flu. A bit nauseous and warm all over. His blood pressure dropped slightly, but it is now back in normal limits. I'm going to force him to walk a few laps of the floor in a little bit (he isn't too happy about that right now), but that's my job! In three hours, he will get another dreaded dose and I know we will have a long night ahead of us. They certainly don't let you rest much in the hospital. Luckily for me, many friends have armed me with books and magazines to help pass the time. That's it for now! Keep coming back to visit...I've got the itch to write and plenty of time to do it! xo, Teresa

The beginning...

I've been contemplating ways to keep our family and friends both near and far in touch with our unexpected journey through our first year of marriage. I didn't want to post this trip all over Facebook or another form of social media. The reason being, the "friends" we have on those sites aren't truly friends at all. They are acquaintances, people we've met along the path we call life. We have so many wonderful, loving friends and family that we want to keep informed, but I didn't want to have to keep repeating the information to the separate groups. This whole blogging idea seemed like it might be the best way to get in touch with everyone and give myself some therapeutic relief. Everyone can grab a wifi connection and get a quick update on how Chris and I are doing through this ordeal that we will one day refer to as "Our First Year of Marriage." It's an unexpected first year, that's for certain. And I plan on touching upon that in later posts. Feel free to comment, give positive words of encouragement, share your own story, or just read and be with us in spirit! Thanks for coming along with us on our ride! xo, Teresa