The "Expected" First Year

I've heard so many people say, "the first year of marriage is the hardest." There are finances to discuss, chores to divide, drawers to share. It's supposed to be a year of discovering who the other person is and figuring out how to mold your personalities into one family unit. But after being married a few months, I said to my handsome new husband, "I don't know what everyone was talking about. Being married to you has been easy." Chris is the ying to my yang. I'm a neurotic hypochondriac and he is the calm voice of reason. He looks at the glass as half full while I tend to look at it as half empty. Throughout our relationship, I constantly waited for the other shoe to drop. Life was perfect and I kept thinking, it cannot continue this way. No one can have everything. I was head over heels in love, I had a terrific job, a beautiful home, and a couple of adorable dogs (though some may beg to differ). How could things continue in this wonderful way? No one ever gets it all! Looking back now, I'm upset with myself for worrying so much. Worrying didn't change anything, it only made me waste precious moments that I should have enjoyed more than I did. I truly believe in the saying, "everything happens for a reason." Usually that reason doesn't make sense until much later, after the fact, when you have enough clarity to look back on a period of time and say, "ahhh that's why things had to happen that way." To give a quick example, when I left Chicago and moved to Lockport, I thought I made the wrong decision. I had every intention of moving back after a few months. Obviously, I didn't. Looking back now, moving to Lockport happened for a reason. The reason: Chris! It's from that experience that I know years from now we will say, "oh thats why we had to fight that horrible battle during our first year of marriage." With life experiences come life lessons. Through this ordeal, I'm learning to appreciate the little things and I'm trying not to sweat the small stuff. Life is too short to waste your first year (or any year) of marriage fighting over the finances, or which way to fold the laundry. Try to find happiness in the little things. I'm happy to be spending time with my husband, in a hospital room, while he kicks this cancer to Timbuktu! I'd follow him anywhere. The rest of life will fall into place when the time is right. As long as we have each other, we can do anything! xo, Teresa